Driving On Bagram Air Field (BAF)

Traffic on BAF

OMG!!!! You think your traffic is bad at home (well, maybe it is)? You should try driving on-base here. What a nightmare. Cram 33,000 people in an area the size of a medium American airport. Now, give half the population a vehicle. Add in all of the military vehicles (US, Polish, French, German, Egyptian, UAE, et al) and then add the Afghani trucks bringing in goods and materials. Oh yes, the most important ingredient in this American Automobile Association worst location to drive (OK, it’s not really on the list, but should be): ONE ROAD that loops around the base.

Let’s dissect the interesting bits, shall we?

One road: called Disney Drive (not named after the famous Walt, but rather after Jason – a casualty of this war). Originally, this was a Russian base. The Russians don’t spend money on frivolous things like personal amenities for individuals, in this case, vehicles. You did not need a big road during the Russian occupation; no one had a vehicle for personal use. But, that little oversight has been rectified since the Americans have taken over the base. There are now more vehicles on BAF than there are in the entire surrounding Province (that is just a guess, but I believe it is accurate). There are no major arteries leading from the road, so you cannot take short-cuts (unless you cross the runway – and that is not allowed; can you say “Authorized use of deadly force”?).

The main road is exactly 14.5 kilometers to drive around the entire base (about 8.7 miles). When traffic is bad, it can take an hour or more to circumnavigate the base. Oh, yes... you can not drive on Disney between 0500 and 0730 because all the military members are supposed to be using the road for their physical training. I hope you don't have a plane to catch at the passenger terminal during those hours or you will have to walk with all your gear (or, try to catch the "one" bus that is supposed to be operating at that time of the day... right!!!!)

We call Disney a road in the broadest sense of the word. If this road existed in any city, county, or state in the US or any European country, it would be shut down for safety reasons: Pot holes, no shoulders, narrow lanes, no turnouts, right angle turns, (and in some areas: no asphalt), and the ever present egregious amounts of dust.

Vehicles of all descriptions: All those vehicles need fuel. The fuel comes into the base via Afghan tankers. They do not arrive in ones and twos: that is inefficient. They come in the gate in batches of 5 to 10 and are escorted to their destination. Again, I must stress that things are not the same here as in the US or Europe: the standards for Afghan vehicles are somewhat lacking - OK, mostly missing: “If you can drive it, it’s OK to take it on the street”. Big clouds of belching smoke spewing from the exhaust; suspension springs that have been broken since Noah was a mess cook on the Ark (can you tell I am retired Navy?); windshields that have more cracks than the San Andreas fault; and tires that have less tread than a billiard ball. Now, just imaging a string of 10 to 15 of these wonderful smoke emitting rattle-traps plowing through the stops signs on Disney (they have the right-of-way because they are in convoy). God help you if you are walking along the street when these behemoths pass by you. Now you know why I wear a scarf every day of the year (it also keeps the dust out of my lungs).

It is not just the fuel trucks that are in this dilapidated state: all of the local trucks are just as bad. There are trucks that deliver all manner of goods: construction material, consumable material, and things I don’t want to know about (“need to know basis”).

Now, let’s throw in all the various military vehicles. Have you ever heard of an MRAP? Check Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MRAP_%28armored_vehicle%29 There are lots of these on “THE” road. You should see what the Arabs have done to their MRAP’s. Their modifications made the footprint of the vehicles even bigger. The French have a cute little amphibian vehicle that putters around the base. There really isn’t much need for the “ducks” in this region of the world – high desert where the average annual rain fall is less than 12 inches.

There are other support vehicles on the road i.e., fire trucks, ambulance, flat beds, sea containers, cranes, dump trucks, concrete trucks, sewage trucks (my personal favorite: NOT!!!), and buses. Lots of buses. These buses are usually in one of two states: completely crammed packed with people or completely empty. There is a posted schedule for the shuttle bus that runs the circuit (remember it is just one road), but it is unreliable and NEVER on time. Thank God I have my own car (are you laughing yet?).

Speed limit: You can drive as fast as you want, as long as you do not go over 25kph. That would be approximately 15.6 miles per hour. Yep, breakneck speed. You can get a ticket for going over the speed limit by as much as 3 mph. If you are traveling too fast (let’s say about 25mph), they just take your vehicle and impound it in the north end of the base. You know, right next to the fence where all those wonderful little children gather to throw rocks at you. Your vehicle is now a target for these little angels. (Side note – a local religious leader is paying the children to throw rocks at anything that moves inside the base. Ask the Air Force woman, who had her jaw broken when one of these little blighters scored a direct hit, if that was an act of love/Godliness. Many vehicles have broken windows or big dents as a result of flying debris from the local hoodlums.)

I have even seen people on bicycles get tickets for “speeding”.

Weather conditions: Remember the aforementioned high desert? It is hot from April to October and it is dry. The dust in this area is baby-powder-fine. It gets into everything. When the wind blows (May through September) the dust is pervasive and overpowering at times. Sometimes, you cannot see the sun for all the dust in the air. Now, just imagine trying to drive in that mess and then add the belching exhaust from the traveling Afghan death traps with just a hint of the burning garbage from the north burn pit. Wonderful! I believe this is the description of the fourth ring of hell as mentioned in Dante’s Seven Rings of Hell.

We don’t often get rain. Rain makes everything muddy (OK, it does clean the air of dust – that is a good thing). The mud is all over the place because the dust is everywhere. That also means that the potholes and low points in the road are full of water and mud. I have actually submerged the front left quarter panel of my 4X4 in a “pothole” that was full of water.

So, you may be asking yourself, “Hearing all this bitching and moaning from me, why stay there”? The short answer: I love my work. I think I am making a difference in the quality of life for those people who have to be here every day. It gives me a sense of satisfaction to see my work appreciated by our service members.

And this blog is about the road on BAF... you should see what passes for roads outside the fence... OMG!!!